Once, We Were
by NeedlessToSay-NeedMoreToThink
Summary: When friendship is all we have, what happens when we refuse it?
1. The First Step

Once, We Were

When friendship is all we have, what happens when we refuse it?  
Disclaimer: No soy el dueno de South Park... y estoy triste porque no soy. Pero un dia, espero que ser. And I had a Spanish test today, and actually wrote this as an answer ^.^  
Warnings: Language, boyxboy, violence, hate stuff, heavy/dark themes, death, etc., etc.

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Chapter 1: The First Step

_In seven years, things change, whether or not we want them to._

_In seven years, people move on, move away, and sometimes... stay still._

_In seven years, people change, whether or not we want them to._

_In seven years... has it really been seven?_

_Where was I all those years?_

_Where were you?_

_

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_

**Stan's POV**

I had almost forgotten the way he made me smile when I was down, the way he could say such perfect words when I was at a loss for any to say. I had almost forgotten his scent, and the spritely green of his lively eyes. I had almost forgotten my super best friend.

But, unfortunately, I had not.

The whistle sounded with a blasting "Whir" and my stomach clenched as I realized I'd arrived. I pushed my way towards the metal door, which opened spitefully to the South Park Station. I dejectedly walked off the train, my luggage in hand and my feelings locked tight. I had practiced this, made it an art; my face betrayed nothing but what I wished it to.

I took a few steps away from the boarding arena and headed slowly towards a wooden bench. Sitting down and dropping my suitcase, I folded my arms, and looked around disinterestedly. I was early, so I had time, time to think and time to try and escape. I needed a plan, and I needed money. I needed release from this damn situation.

I looked at my watch, a nervous habit, and was shocked to see that ten minutes had already passed since my arrival. It was twenty to one, and they'd be here at one, if they were on time, which they normally were. So that gave me some twenty-odd minutes, if I was lucky and they didn't come early. I grabbed my bag and rose to my feet, still plan less, yet too grief-stricken to care.

But then, of course, I heard him, and my hopes dissolved into ash.

I saw him run towards me, smiling brightly, as he enthusiastically shouted, "STAN!" I braced myself for his massive hug, which threw me off balance and nearly over. "Stan," he said again, his voice more kindred, as if he were remembering. He lifted his head and looked into my eyes. I snarled. "Get off me, Kyle."

His face fell as his arms broke apart. He stared at me oddly, like he didn't know me. His eyes widened at my new appearance, as he gave me a once-over which felt slightly invasive; I was honestly surprised he had recognized me to begin with; seven years can change a person, and I had changed greatly.

"Wow, Stan," he finally said, his tone contemplative, if not slightly confused. "I heard you had changed... but wow, Stan, I - "

I scowled at him. "Stop saying that damn name!"

A look of shock came over his face, most likely from my voice's fury. For a moment, I felt relieved, thinking I'd succeeded in making him forget. But no; his eyes slowly softened, the red of his brows relaxing as he smiled sadly. "I understand, Stan." he stated somberly. Oh, how wrong he was.

"...Whatever," I replied numbly, pushing him aside as I walked towards the tunnel. He stood a moment, unmoving, uncertain, but was brought back to motion as the train whistle blew. "Stan - wait up!" he yelled, running to catch me as I moved on. "Do you need help carrying your bags?"

"...No."

He stuttered. "All right then."

We walked down the grey walled prism in silence, a silence I was overly grateful for. I'd heard enough words to last me forever, all of them meaningless, but some dauntingly painful.

_You're fault._

I shuddered violently at the unwanted thought; Kyle saw me, but didn't comment. Instead, we continued to walk, our steps the loudest sound, until we reached a dirty, grey steel door. In bold, gruesome red letters, it declared itself the "Exit." Kyle's head snapped towards me in worry as I carelessly mumbled, "If only." A look crossed his face filled with such pure pity, that it made me nauseous and livid simultaneously.

"Don't," I ordered simply. He smiled sadly once more, but nodded.

"Just remember, Stan," he began, "That they're not as ready for this as I am... try not to change their minds, because if you do, then in the end... you'll regret it."

I held back my retort, knowing deep down that he was probably right. The Brofloskis were my last chance, and if I lost them... where would I go?

In the back of my mind, I knew the answer - _Back to the foster home._

But I refused to ever return there, regardless of my alternative.

I reached towards the heavy blockade and opened it slowly to the snowy outdoors. Before me was white, white, and more white; the years had taught me to love that color. But in the midst of the watery wonder, three ugly dots blurred my sense of peace. Two Jews and their Canadian son, smiling warmly at me through the cold.

I stepped towards them, and Kyle followed, but from the corner of my eye, I saw him suddenly tense. Rapidly, he unzipped his jacket, pulling it off and sprinting towards me. Before I could even ask why, he threw the jacket around my bare shoulders. He stared at me darkly, and I understood -

he was hiding the swatstika on my arm.

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**Ha bet no one saw that coming. For this story, Stan is sort of in his goth stage for awhile. But he has a good reason, which I'm guessing you can guess (at least part of).  
Anyway, quick sum up - it's been seven years since Kyle and Stan last saw each other, and in the midst of their reunion lurks a horrible past event. Memories surface, and memories die, while Stan longs desperately for the ladder - death. I probably should have made that the summary, but oh well. Here it is instead XD  
**

**So, reviews, comments, etc., plz? It's my first SP fic, so I'm scared lol  
**

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	2. In Oz

Once, We Were

**Chapter 2  
Warnings: Same as First Chapter  
Disclaimer: Yada Yada  
Etc...**

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Chapter 2: In Oz

_When truth could save me, your lies came freely._

_When lies became real, you took them away._

_When I was taken, your freedom was granted._

_When I was free, the truth became toxic - _

_You pulled back my head, and forced down the poison._

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**Stan's POV**

The ride back to his house could be defined in one word - awkward, and grossly so, to the point of a sheepish-sort-of nausea. I stared out the window dully, taking in all that the years had kept from me. But this was South Park, and things never changed; the snow was white, and the people screwy.

I nervously tapped my fingers against the hybrid's fragile window. It was astounding, and rather morbid, to consider all of the things I could do with that window. Such a simple, nonviolent act stirred within me a thousand thoughts; I latched them away behind a thin veil in my mind, having every intention to steal a peak later. But right now, I couldn't consider them; before I died, I had a job to do.

"So Stanley," the woman gurgled, breaking my thoughts like a hammer on glass. She sat in the seat before me, still red-haired, crooked-nosed, and large. _"_Must be nice to be back in town," she drawled, in a nasally voice. Kyle cast me a meaningful glance- _"Watch what you say," _it seemed to order.

I huffily sat back in my seat for I had no intention of listening to him, but the more logical still-sane part of me knew that obeying was in my best interest. The woman skeptically looked at me through the mirror which hung beside her; within it, I saw my reflection smile brightly, though falsely at her own. "Wonderful, Mrs. Brofloski," I skillfully lied as she smiled back. "I _really_ needed to get away for a while; thank you again for letting me stay with you."

"Any time, Stanley dear," she answered warmly, albeit sickeningly. Beside me, Ike squirmed in his seat, possibly having heard the same thing that I had. "I can understand why you would need this," she continued nonchalantly. "After all, I've heard nothing but bad things about New York - I _still_ can't understand why your family moved there!"

My smile faltered for a moment, but the woman stopped looking at me just before. She had turned to stare out the window, though at what, I hadn't a clue. I inwardly sighed in relief, as I allowed my facade to fall, but at that moment, she looked back towards me. "I almost forgot Stanley; how are your par- "

"Kyle!?"

Every head in the car whipped towards Kyle, except for his father, who was driving. But in the mirror, I saw his face, a what-the-hell look shining brightly across it. He slowed down the car, before turning back, worry replacing his confused expression. "Kyle... are you all right?" he asked, eyes widening at what they saw.

I didn't need to look towards Kyle to know what he had done; I could smell it, and I had heard it, but I was tempted to see it too. As if he had heard my earlier thoughts, and wanted to try one out for himself, Kyle had slammed his fist through the window into a sharded, cherry mess.

"Ye-eah," he answered shakily, looking at his hand as if unsure what had happened.

His mother raised her brows. "Bub-ah-lah... why did you do that?"

Lying had never been Kyle's strong suit; "...I.. was trying to squish a bug."

"I think you missed it," Ike declared. Kyle wrinkled his nose, as his dad resumed driving.

But Mrs. Brofloski was far from ready to let the matter slide unaddressed. "Gerald," she began, "Are you mashugana!? He needs a hospital!"

"I know, dear," Gerald responded, gripping the steering wheel slightly tighter. "But the house is closer - we'll drop off Ike first." Mrs. Brofloski stared at him, horrified.

"But my baby is bleeding to death! We need to get him there _right _now!"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes, noting another thing that hadn't changed - Kyle's mom was still a bitch_. _An ugly, ignorant bitch. As if he had heard my thoughts (again?), Kyle turned to me and glared. It was a pained-filled, warning glare, meant to once more remind me, "_Watch what you say." _

I stared straight back at him blankly, starting to wonder exactly how much he had told his parents. The way things were going so far, I was guessing that it hadn't been much; you didn't slam your hand into glass to prevent someone from asking something, especially something so simple as "How are your parents?" ...Unless, of course, you already knew the answer.

Especially when the answer was something like:  
"Well they're dead, and I've come to live with you."

For some reason, I didn't think such an answer would go over well with Kyle's mother; neither had he, apparently, and thus he'd refrained from letting her know. So as I stared to my left, I had to wonder, had he trusted Ike with the knowledge? Or was it just Kyle and me, because if it was, I had reason to worry. I needed another person, one to tell everything to, and not just the base truths.

For if Kyle was my only ally, we both would die within the week.  
And this time, once again, it all would be  
my fault.

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**Well first, I just want to say thanks for the input (which I truly appreciate!), and that I full-heartedly agree that it was pretty rushed. But I sort of want it to be rushed in Stan's POV, at least for now, because recent events have left his thinking scattered and unfocused. If it's too rushed though (which now, looking back at it, I'm starting to think it might be) I'll probably edit it. Regardless, I'm a lover of constructive criticism, so once again, thanks. XD**

**Anyways, this chap. was short but I wanted to add it since I won't be able to type for a few days.**

**Notes:  
1) I completely mispelled it, but mashugana means crazy  
2) Can you spell Brofloski that way? Because I've seen it like five different ways... don't know if it matters...**

**Review plz! It helps me think XD  
b back soon  
**

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	3. Unspoken Ally

Once, We Were

**Chapter 3  
Warnings: mainly stuff later on - also, POV switch in this chapter, and later ones too  
some episode spoilers also, come to think of it - sry!  
**

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Chapter 3: Unspoken Ally

_It was destined from the beginning_

_It was something we could not control_

_It was real, and it was painful_

_It was all we'd ever know._

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**Kyle's POV**

Like the majority of the human species, I would never list "hospital" as one of my favorite places; after all of the times I've been sent there for fighting with a certain fatass, not to mention the whole "AIDS" thing, the hemorrhoid thing, the kidney thing, and my _wonderful _diabetes, I've developed somewhat of a sore spot when it comes to dealing with anything medical. The very premise of "hospital" confuses me, because you go in and might never come back out. Well, you'll come back out, but you might be dead, and according to Kenny, "Dying sucks."

From the doctors' white coats, which never dirty (despite the numerous patients they see on a daily basis), to the tiny, twenty-channel t.v.s in every room, hospitals just always strike me as, well, hypocritical. I mean, I'm fairly decent (all right, I'm _amazing) _with math, and I know that blood plus white equals dirty, and that t.v equals bad. So, if health (a.k.a. legal medicinal drugs) equals good, then t.v. _can not_ equal healthy! So why the _hell _are t.v.s so widespread in hospitals if hospitals are supposed to cure you!?

...Wow, my brain, thanks for that...

Anyway, before driving us all to Hell's Pass, dad dropped Ike off back at the house. He had some paper to write, or so he claimed; honestly, I think he just wanted an excuse out of going. If there's one person who hates hospitals more than me, it's Ike... well, him and maybe Stan. But definitely Ike, and I don't blame him. Have you ever had a botched-bris?

We got to the hospital and I was rushed in for stitches; luckily, the doctor said that the cuts weren't that deep. He claims that I'll be released within a few hours; I hope so, 'cause Stan's getting antsy. He did not seem to appreciate my "heroic feat," but rather scowled at me as we drove over. It seems like he's in a hurry, but he just got here, so I have no idea why...

As if to answer me, he walks into the room, a large scowl across his face. I glare back at him once more, and he snorts. "I know, I know. I'm watching myself."

Relief simmers across my body. "Good," I evenly answer. Attempting discretion, I begin, "So... it's as good a time as any."

My attempt is an utter failure; he raises his left brow and looks annoyed."...I already told you... I'm not telling you..."

"But -"

"Kyle, I _can't _tell you."

I awkwardly leap towards him from the bed. "Do you really expect me just to accept that?" I snap. "Because I won't Stan! Nu-uh. I need answers!"

He looks at me like I've gone nuts - I probably have, from all of this stress. "Then why'd you agree to this in the first place?" he questions me sincerely.

I give him a look to match his own. "You're my best friend - what choice do I have?"

My answer simply makes his face grow all the more confused. "What" he asks, "you mean, still?"

I roll my eyes and nod. "Funny, but don't change the subject."

"I'm not, though, I -"

"_Stan."_

He sighs. "All right - but I'm not answering you either." With that, he leaves the room. I'm tempted to call him back, but I know that I'll be going home in a few hours. And then, I'll see him again, and then, I'll _make _him answer me.

It's not that I have problems with taking Stan in, but I do have trouble lying to my parents, and I have trouble seeing my super best friend in such distress with no one to turn to because he won't allow it. All I know right now is that his family has been killed, and that he needs a place to stay.

But he told me they died nearly a year ago - so why the sudden need for my help? And why did he lie about removing the swastika - why's he so angry? Why won't he tell me!?

And most confusing of all - when he talks,

why won't he look me in the eye?

**Stan's POV**

I exit the room and rush to the stairs. The Broflovskis are talking with Kyle's doctor.

"Mr. Broflovski!" I scream, fake cheery. "Do you mind if I meet you back at your house later?"

He looks at me surprised; his wife decides to answer. "But Stan! You just got here -"

I smile bigger, interrupting, "I know, but that's the reason why. A bunch of the other guys heard I was coming back, and they've all gotten together to welcome me home! They didn't expect Kyle to break his hand, so there's sort of a scheduling error - Cartman's dad said that she can drive me, but I'll miss the whole thing if I don't go now." The lie sounds fake even to my own ears, but luckily, they seem to accept it.

"As much as I dislike that proposal... All right, Stanly dear, you can go. But do you remember your way around?"

I inwardly laugh - I don't think I could forget it. "Of course," I answer quickly. "Thank you so much! I'll be back at the house by six!"

I run off quickly to avoid any more questions, whipping out my cell phone and speed dialing Cartman. The phone rings once, twice, three times - Of all the day's for him not to answer, of course he chooses today. "God d*mnit," I mumble angrily, calling Kenny to see if he's there. Kenny answers and sounds surprised to hear me -

"Stan? Stan!! What the f*ck man!? When'd you get here, I - "

Cutting him off, I question gruffly, "Kenny? Is Cartman there?"

I can feel him flinch at the sound of my voice. "Um no - he's at some meeting."

As he continues to talk, I hang up the phone. Some meeting? He never mentioned that...

My phone starts ringing and I check the I.D. - it's only Kenny again, so I ignore it. By now, I'm outside the hospital, unsure of where to head next. But I figure, I've been waiting for months, so what's another few hours?

I might as well head towards Cartman's - he _is _the reason I'm here, after all.

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**Well firstly, **

**MERRY BELATED X-MAS! And happy... sixth night of Hanukkah? I think...  
anyways,**

**1. Thanks for the spelling help! That was driving me crazy .  
2. Hope no one hates the POV switch thing - I just wanted some Kyle insight, cause he is awesomeness!  
3. Yes, I know, you're not supposed to use cell phones in a hospital! - but Stan's not exactly obeying the rules right now  
4. On a side note, I actually wikipedia'd Kyle to find all of his medical problems - I never really paid attention to it in the show, but he gets sick like crazy! Just thought it was interesting...  
5. and, uh that's it**

So with that, happy holidays and all that the saying entails! Thanks for everything thus-far! And review please - reviews to me are like cookies to Santa XD or cookies to ppl in general I guess lol

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